I hope the irony of protesting taxation in a public park isn’t lost on these affluent and very Caucasian dissidents. Click the pic to view the whole set.

Chattanooga, it’s a beautiful day. Get your ass outside!

If you picked up Tuesday’s edition of The Chattanooga Times-Free Press and turned to the Life section, you probably saw this:

Awesome! Big thanks to Casey Phillips for the opportunity and to everyone else for all the great feedback. If you missed it in print, you can read the whole thing online here. Now that I’m a celebrity, I’d like to use my notoriety to cast a light on a few pet causes of mine, such as…

1. Can we please get some dividers for the urinals in the fine art center at UTC? I’m sick of walking in and seeing strange dudes’ junk.
2. Somebody has gotta do something about Republic Parking. $9 to park downtown is just bananas. I love Chattanooga, but this ain’t New York! Besides, why would someone choose to patronize a restaurant in the city when they can park in Hixson or at Hamilton Place for free? You guys are killin’ us. Although the city is probably not gonna do anything about it, for a couple of reasons.
3. I remember hearing ages ago that Chattanooga was going to get a Q-Zar. Whatever happened to that? This city is aching for a legitimate venue for laser tag. The arena at Sir Gooney’s is a joke. No running? Are you kidding? People are firing FRICKEN LASERS at me. What a joke!

Every Tuesday, me and my main squeeze head on over to Emily and John-Michael Bond’s house to watch Lost with their cat, Lord Brimley. A most resplendent beast, Lord Brimley is a Persian cat whose disposition is as sweet as the look on his face isn’t. It’s always a welcome respite from the tense and uncertain mood of Lost when Lord Brimley saunters in with his poofy tail swaying this way and that.

The next time you’re at Standard Ink, ask for Emily and tell her, “BRIMLERS SENT ME!”

John Burke is lookin’ too fresh to be real at City Cafe, where me and some old school Ringgold bros got mermaid tattoos on our necks to celebrate our boy Stephen Britton’s birthday. More zaniness here.